Zoroark
Zoroark (real name Shawna) is one of the HoU Convo Regulars and most powerful members. While his gender is not clear by many, he often trolls the thread and other forums with No Worries, as well as making graphics for rep and shitty paint drawings. He is often compared to tgm2x in terms of sex minded and porn spamming. Zoro is very intellgent an knowledegable on various subjects including, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and Homestuck. A long time ago, in a distant, mythical, desert-land known only as the suburbs of Paris, there was once a beautiful, desirable virginal maiden called El-Shawnabbah who wanted to become a famous, celebrated porn-star with all her heart, but knowing all-too well how actresses with an untouched Fluttershy weren't wanted in the industry as much as an experienced hooker was she prayed, to whichever godlike divinity would hear her pleas to remove her chastity via magical means, and she prayed and she prayed and she prayed, and just as she was starting to loose hope and make plans to take matters into her own hands and devirginize herself with a sharpened broomstick a booming, omnious voice which eerily, suspiciously resembled the tone of Morgan Freeman answered her most urgent calls and nothing was the same for El-Shawnabbah afterwards. After the sacred deed was done between God Allmighty and the his Chosen Sidehoe, El-Shawnabbah all-too-late realized that the Creator didn't even wear a condom during the ritualistic coitus and after screaming him out of the apparment which was filled with an edgy collection of grundge posters, knives brought back from the Eastern Frontier and Kalashnikovs stolen from Putin's Manor hung over the walls and drunken weed-addicts sleeping on the floor, angry at his horrid negligence, she locked herself into the bathroom and passionatelly hugged the broom she planned to ravish herself earlier with and wept until she could weep no more, to what, the Omnipotent Lord answered only with ''-"Yeah, go ahead, sweetheart, write a rant article about this on tumblr! I'll be certain to reblog it with my fake account and tag it under "Top kek, arent all men pigs?!"-'' I am also a heartbreaker galore. When people see me on the street, their intimate organs automatically twitch from the sheer lust of seeing me walking down in public with an irrisistable swagger which could easily make Giacomo Casanova himself desperately declare "TEACH ME YOUR WAYS, DONNA! YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY FUCKED MORE PEOPLE THEN CAIUS CALIGULA HIMSELF!" and reach towards me as the sweet juices of his feral desire shamefully drip through his trashy, 17th century, baroque thights, with all onlookers shocked and aroused by the fact that I can make people want my beautiful Fluttershy merely by breathing air. Yes, I admit, it's fucking tough being this desirable. Pope Benedict the Whateverhisnumberwas once had an interview for God.Channel where he openly confessed how he's willing to renounce the seat of Papacy if Shawna would just come over to the Vatican State with a ticket he himself will provide from Tax money and pop his holy cherry before the eyes of our lord and maker. Aside from being a full-time sex machine who could easily make Mother Theresa herself renounce her vows and get a job at a Las Vegas gas-stop I also have a demanding, difficult hobby which isnt even that difficult due to me being Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li and the "Remove Kebab" man combined; This hobby is "Non-challantly liberating the Middle East from terrorist oppression after breakfast and before my snack-time" and thanks to my excessive amazingness out on the desert frontier, the locals have given me an honorable nickname in their native language. This nickname is El-Shawnabbah, which roughly translates to "The One Who Erased the Italian Pedophile called Giacomo from the Histories" During my many trips to the orient which I commenced out of boredom, accompanied only by my vast collection of knives, Linkin Park cd's and coloring crayons, I once nearly liberated the Holy City of Jerusalem before naptime but gave up because the newest season of the "My Little Pony" was running on Al-Jazeera before lunch and my best buddy of all time, The Sultan of Egypt and Syria, Salah ad-din Yusuf ibn Ayyub, more commonly known as Salladin, was mad pissed at me because I was OBVIOUSLY the only remaining hope he had left of ever reclaiming the crown jewel of the Holy Land, but -yaaaaaaaaawn- priorities are priorities, no? As a reward for not doing anything at all save for casually slacking off in front of the telly-o, he rewarded me with a nice little entourage of 900 women and 900 men (800 of which were eunuchs, captured broni-haters, bankrupted porno-directors, weed dealers who refused to pay the alamonies to their wives, posters from NF and this one person who accidentally clicked at my tit-pic on the Skype main chat a long time ago.) and as soon as I visited my harem for the first time ever, the female slaves declared that they want to be bedded in a manner which only I could provide...which, between you and me, dear reader, translates to "Lasting more then two nanoseconds" Shhh... Most Famous Post